Sitting at my kitchen table one evening reading Somebody’s Daughter, I had to put the book down. Even now, writing this, I’m transported back to that feeling of anguish that the book pulled from me. I cried for myself, for friends and family, for the weight of expectation, misunderstanding and rejection that so many of us carry. Is there anyone who is completely free of any of this weight or is this part of growth and the journey of life? My body rejects the idea that it’s necessary to experience shame, humiliation and rejection from those closest to us in order for us to be well-formed in the world. I think these experiences create cracks and crevices that are hard to mend.
In Somebody’s Daughter, Ashley C. Ford tells her story, the story of a black girl growing up with a mother that was in parts wonderful and abusive, a grandmother that was supportive and tough, a father who was in prison for a terrible crime, friends, family members, her mother’s boyfriends, her own boyfriends. This is a story about navigating life, contorting to fit into available spaces, and building identity.
We get to accompany Ashley on her struggles through betrayals and abuse as she stiffens up, and builds an outer shell that can withstand attack. You might want to call Ashley a survivor but that’s inadequate; her role is much more active than that. She loses herself and finds herself again and again on her journey of life. Even when she’s hurt, she straightens her back as she moves forward. She gets up and carries forward thinking “It don’t hurt. I’m not dead.”
It was easier to laugh at the jokes after you’d forgotten the pain.
Chapter 6
Rating of Somebody’s Daughter
I hold space for the little girl who learned that she was bad and that she needed to shield herself from the people who were supposed to love her, for the teenager who had her choices stolen from her in the name of love. I give this book all the stars:
- The writing carried me into her life and into my past, pulling out anguish and pain that have sat dormant for many years.
- Ashley’s vulnerability and exposure provides an example of what it looks like to thrive. Thrive doesn’t quite capture what I mean but it’s the word that keeps coming up for me.
- Visiting old wounds is fraught and Ashley handles it with care. As much as it’s anything else, Somebody’s Daughter is a love story. Love can be both simple and complicated with different people and in different situations.
I’m waiting for the sequel of Somebody’s Daughter. I want to know what happens next on Ashley’s journey.
Interview with Ashley C. Ford
Listen to an Interview with Ashley C. Ford on Code Switch.
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