Womanish by Kimberly McLarin Book Review

Last updated on October 6, 2020

Womanish: A Grown Black Woman on Love and Live is a collection of essays by Kimberly McLarin that were printed in 2019. In the book, she discusses her life as a Black Woman, writer, mother, family member. She also discusses issues in society, such as finding love, online dating after divorce, mothering Black children, depression and the intersection of race and gender.

As a child, I was often called womanish. I remember feeling proud to be responsible, with my own thoughts and opinions, a strong sense of self. But I also felt judged, like I was doing something wrong, like maybe I was moving too quickly, getting into certain things too soon.

Maybe the oppressive specter of the Strong Black Woman/Black SuperWoman haunts only me and not my sisters.

Alright, Cupid, p.14

Trust me, it haunts at least some of your sisters. I count myself amongst them.

Gender discrimination has always been a bigger problem than racism.

Becky and Me, p. 61

This is presented as a belief of (some) white women. I find that fascinating. Discrimination by race and gender means that black women have to fight on two fronts.

“But community must not mean a shedding of our differences, nor the pathetic pretense that these differences do not exist.

Quote from Audrey Lorde, Becky and Me, p.80

This. Don’t be color-blind. See all of me, so that when I tell you of my experience as a Black women, you can see when people judge me by my race and gender.

physical pain is not only a biochemical/neurological experience but also an emotional one

Eshu Finds Work, p. 101

I was recently chatting with Sebene Selassie about this. She talked about how we may feel a negative emotion before we become aware of the physical discomfort that caused the negative emotion.

sociopaths are everywhere, sometimes you see them, sometimes you don’t

The Upside of Loving a Sociopath, p. 241

I’d say quite often we don’t, or at least I don’t.

Who you are and what you are shapes your parenting; the ground you’re covering determines your gait.

Mothering While Black, p. 341

I really liked the metaphor here (and many other metaphors in this book). The environment affects everything, decisions and experiences.

In America most people outlive the biological fact of being young without ever outgrowing the dumb, dangerous state of innocence. Innocence is a state to which a mature and thoughtful human should never aspire nor cling.

Womanish, p.351

Interesting how we can value wisdom without wanting to grow old. If only there was a shortcut to achieving wisdom in youth. I’m afraid that there isn’t though; that we create wisdom through experience.

Final Thoughts on Womanish

I enjoyed reading the essays in this book. They made me chuckle and they made me sad. I’m not a mother nor a wife, so the personal experience in the essays evade me but as an outsider looking in on other lives, they ring true.

I can relate to so many of the stories inWomanish: A Grown Black Woman on Love and Live. It’s true that I’ve never taken that kind of revenge that Kimberly shares, but I’ve done things in relationships that I both regret and cannot promise I wouldn’t do again. It is complicated being human. McLarin explores the fears and hopes, the experiences and the realities of her life as a Black woman in America, extending the conversation to consider and include the individual and collective experience of Black people in America.

We’re all doing our best to learn and grow, to survive and to maybe even thrive. While we can all hurt and get hurt, we can also heal. I give Womanish: A Grown Black Woman on Love and Live 5 stars. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️