How far are you? What’s the distance to …? We like to place people and things. What does knowing the distance really tell you? Does it help you create a mental model, or to build new expectations? Is just knowing the distance enough information?
Going the Distance
How long does it take to travel 100 km? In Canada, if you’re mostly taking highways, let’s say 75 minutes. What about if you’re taking the Autobahn in Germany, or the Ring Road in Bangalore, India, or the national highway from Khartoum, Sudan? What kind of vehicle are you driving? What’s the temperament of the driver and the state of the roads? Is it rush hour?
What about if you’re nurturing a loving relationship. How far is 3 km, or 300 km or a few thousand? What do you do to connect with a loved one in each of these scenarios? How far are your loved ones allowed to be in order for you to able to sustain a nurturing, healthy friendship or other relationship?
Estimating Rates
When I lived in India, I learned that the mental constructs I had for figuring out duration from distance were useless. As we went on trips from Bangalore to Hampi, Coorg, Ooty, Cannanore, every trip took longer than I expected. This was partially my fault with incorrect calculations, but it was mostly the driver’s fault. He was always optimistic or perhaps he didn’t want to disappoint us. Either way, his estimates were always short.
For STD booths, however, the rates were set. All you needed to know was the location you were calling, and you could figure out how much a phone call would cost. I don’t know what STD stands for in this context, but we used these booths to place long distance phone calls. On a lucky day, a booth would be free without any waiting. Otherwise, we’d patiently await our turn, to call someone else on the other side of the world, to connect for a few minutes.
Across the Distance
Now that we are in a time of physical distancing, do you cross the street to avoid crossing paths with someone else? Are you conscientious about keeping the 6ft/2m distance when you have to venture outdoors? How do you treat the people you live with and the ones whose path you cross?
I can still tell, even with a mask, when someone is smiling at me. I can smile back, wave, maybe say hello. Even if I don’t stop and chat, I want to project “It’s nice to see you out here” and “I hope you’re doing well”.
What new mental constructs are you building around physical distance? Are you emotionally close to the people who are physically near you? Are you able to keep emotionally connected to people who are physically far away? And how can you spread loving-kindness as you safely go about your day?
It’s nice to “see” you here. I hope that you and your family are doing well.
Featured image credit: Ryan Stone
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