Last updated on October 6, 2020
Summary
In Educated, Tara shares her story of growing up in a family of fundamentalist Mormons. She is the last child of 7 children. Although some of her older siblings went to school for some time, by the time Tara came along, her father wouldn’t allow any of the children to go to school. Her mother makes some feeble attempts at homeschooling before giving up. Her father considers education a weapon of the government and won’t let his children fall victim to it.
While living at home, Tara succumbs to the whims and decisions of her family, particularly those of her father and an older brother. Even when she moves away, she finds it hard to make her own decisions. She has never had to think for herself. She identifies as a proper Mormon, and does her best to keep favor with her family. We see sparks arise in her time and again as a child but they are continuously beaten back, until she defines an alternative world for herself.
Storyline
At 17, Tara decides to go to university. Her father disapproves and tries to change her mind but she goes off to school anyway. She keeps ties with her family and rushes home for every crisis that comes up. There is no shortage of them, with her stubborn, “faithful”, father.
For many years, Tara straddles two worlds: that of her parents and the educational and historical places of BYU, Cambridge, Rome, Boston. From a rocky university beginning since she had never attended any formal schooling and had huge gsps in her knowledge, she begins to grasp many ideas. She learns about textbooks and studying, and about how to ask for help to learn something new.
Even as the distance between her and her childhood home of Buck’s Peak increases, she is tethered to her childhood and haunted by here life there. Her father’s hold over her is rigid and she has trouble breaking it. At first, I thought her mother wanted her to get out, but then realized that her mother’s and father’s mission are very much aligned.
While they plotted how to reconvert me, I plotted how to let them. I was ready to yield, even if it meant an exorcism. A miracle would be useful: if I could stage a convincing rebirth, I could dissociate from everything I’d said and done in the past year. I could take it all back – blame Lucifer and be given a clean slate. I imagined how esteemed I would be, as a newly cleansed vessel. How loved. All I had to do was swap my memories for theirs, and I could have my family.
It’s only after Tara has a mental breakdown that she finds a way to go back home, to the place where she feels strong and grounded while remaining free of the family forces incompatible with her definition of life. By daring to speak her truth, she finds that she has not lost all her family as she feared. She still has an extended family and two brothers on her side.
What Causes Radical Change?
What draws Tara away from her old life? How did she find the strength to leave the first time, and again and again? After years of worshiping her father, how was she able to let him go? Was it through the process of self-discovery? Did education threatened her identity by showing how the history she knew was severely skewed and incomplete? Was she released through the acceptance of friends, and family members who validated her memories? How did facing the reality of her childhood and her family, and naming the issues they suffered affect her self-worth and ability to move on? and helped her find her self worth? Was it her interaction with the gentile world combined with her curiosity that let her change? Is is simply a case of making space for self discovering? Can a bit of nudging from the right people at the right time, even when you least expect it, move you so far from the old world that there was no going back?
Recommendation
I highly recommend this book. It’s amazing the stories we convince ourselves of, and how we blame ourselves for situations we had no part in. This is a story of how one woman finds her way to move a long way from where and how she grew up, while also valuing her history and the lessons it bestowed. Tara rejects the destiny decided for her by father. She survives the abuse, humiliation and scars to forge her own path, to define a new life.
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